Just remembered something extraordinary. It's amazing the turns of life.
Just realized something great. No one is who it is meant to be.
What's a blog? Is it some new found way of journalism? No. Is it a center of discussion where one posts his or hers opinions for everyone to say what they think? May be. Is it a way for one to find the path its life should take? No doubt it must do that sometimes. A blog is a diary. A diary you don't want to keep secret, that you use to express your feelings, your thoughts, what is bodering you and what is making you smile. Doesn't matter how stupid it is. Doesn't matter if it makes you seem like a half brained idiot, like a crazy person, like someone you should stay away or laugh everytime you think of him/her.
I always found that, in life, there's people whose life goes on great and those whose life... well whose life looks like if it had come written in the flames of hell itself. Why? Easy. There's someone, there's always someone that has such bad luck with everything that we can't see a way out for them. Now who is the luckiest? One whose life always is great? Or one whose life is always a big piece o shit? Those whose life is written by the gods in the clouds of heaven? Those whose life is written by demons in the pits of hell?
We can see things this way. What is a good thing for someone whose life is good? It's nothing. A person whose life always goes well doesn's appreciate the good things in life. I mean let's face it. If we have a perfect life we can't appreciate that! If it's always good how can we feel good about it? We can't because good things are normal to us. And when bad things happen? Than what? Those people that are always getting the good stuff get fucked up when shit happens that's what. Their life goes so well that bad things break them.
Now what of those living hell all their lifes? Well those are the luckiest bastards of the world. Crap is what their life is and crap is what they excepct from life. So if something bad happens they are so vacinated, it's so damn standard for them that they deal with it like "heaven people" deal with their good fortune. It's just another normal day so hey! what's new? Now these people, these unlucky bastards, when something happens to them, something good, it's like candy from paradise, like if they had won all the money to live all their years left without a care in the world.
Now tell me who's the luckiest. Because as I see it, it's way better to live in hell than in heaven.
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Man carries the weight of his past, a vast and decrepit pyramid which is nothing more than the milenia of conditioning. At the base of this dark structure we have all imperatives, all which we call "moral".
Man is sick, have you any doubts? His mind is infested with disease, he feels unwell in his own skin. He wants a solution, he seeks refuge in authority, in moral - it tells him; "you should be good", "you should be pure", "you should be humble". It asks him to follow, and what does man follow? He follows the idol at the top of the pyramid, the ideal, the idea, the concept, those empty words that tell him how he should live his life.
Here is man's conditioning, the walls he has built around himself , the sheet of illusion with which he has covered his eyes, nevertheless calling himself "free".
How can a man, who is in constant battle between what is and the ideal ever be free? How can he who wants to become, who struggles to become ever be free from "becoming"? And who is he who wants to become? Who is the "I" that says "I must be good, I must not be violent"?
Our mind is the product of past, of habit, and this past is what guides us - so can there be freedom from past? And what is the "I" if not a bundle of ideas and conclusions, what is the "I" if not memory, our condtitioning?
So we must be rid of all psychological authority, of all "should's" and "shouldnt's", before we can discover what it means to be free. And to do this, we need to find out what is means to die to all our past, to all yesterday, and free ourselves to the reality of what is fact, what is now, which is constantly changing all around and within us.
Why do we escape the fact? Why does the mind, through thought, escape into the projection of Ideals, why do we fall into the process of "becoming", which is nothing more than the worship of empty Idols?
The mind fears change, does it not? It looks for permanency in concept, it holds on to the Ideal. But of course, how can the mind not fear change, if it is nothing but the result of thought, of all that is old? We see this in ourselves, how the mind escapes "what is" through concept, and the truth, if there is one, is that the mind is afraid of facing the reality of impermanency - the world as it is.
What now? What are we left with when we see all this, and see it as the root of suffering and illusion?
Here it is that i declare war on myself! On all my conditioning, here it is that i fight all mental resistances (And what greater resistance than habit?). Here is my declaration of war on all idols (what are they if not the illusion of heaven?).
Here it is that i declare war on all past! And each day, as i wake, may i be done with it with one deadly blow. May the mind be vital, may it be spacious, unperturbed and uncontamined by any kind of authority.
Let us face truth directly, let us then act, let us be gods of creation, let us forget ourselves as we become one with the essence of the world, with the constant activity, the eternal change.
In the begining there is impulse, there is action, let us then be in a state of constant begining, of constant experiencing and self-overcoming.
May we find liberation from ourselves and become all that we can be, may we, at last, destroy the dark pyramid of authority which has imprisoned us for so long.
A person whose life always goes well doesn's appreciate the good things in life.
The sweet is never as sweet without the sour, right? I completely agree with this post. We'd never be able to appreciate the good things in life...
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